“That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth” (Deuteronomy 11:21).
Jesus said to His disciples, “I go to prepare a place for you…” (John 14:2). God is preparing a place for His children! It’s a wonderful place. We call it “heaven.” As parents, we are responsible to provide a place for our children. Whether it’s a trailer, a semi-detached or a castle, we have the responsibility to make that place “…as the days of heaven upon the earth” (Deuteronomy 11:21) for our children.
One of the many characteristics of our heavenly home is that Heaven will be a place of security. It will be free from fear and anxiety. We need never worry about ever being separated from our Heavenly Father (John 10:27-29).
God is providing for us a place that is absolutely secure. That is the pattern that we are to follow for our children: we need to provide a home that is safe and secure, a home where the children know that mother and father love each other, and each child is loved and accepted unconditionally. We need to provide a home where our children feel safe, a home where there is absolutely no possibility of divorce. A home that is totally secure!
Do you realize that many of the children in your street or neighborhood come from split homes? One of your child's greatest fears may be that one day mom and dad are going to divorce just like everybody else. You need to assure them that you're not like everybody else. That means you don't raise your voice in anger at each other in front of the children – or at any other time for that matter.
This means that you make your marriage relationship top priority. There is a philosophy of child rearing today that is commonly accepted in our culture called child-centered parenting. The danger with this method is that it does not provide children with the security they desperately need. If you center upon meeting every whim and desire of your children rather than upon meeting the needs of your spouse, you will destroy the security that your children need and crave.
One expert says, "Children know intuitively, just as you and I knew when we were growing up, that if something happens to Mom and Dad, their whole world will collapse. If the parents' relationship is always in question in the mind of a child, then that child will always live his life on the brink of collapse."
If you want to provide for the emotional security and well-being of your children, then you need to provide a home that is totally secure, a home where mom and dad love each other, a home where there is no threat of divorce and where each child is loved and accepted unconditionally.