“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom” (Proverbs 13:10).
Whenever there is contention, anger or bitterness, you can know that pride is certainly involved. Pride destroys marriages and families. Pride is unteachable. It refuses to see its own problems. Pride is quick to blame others and refuses to take responsibility.
No conflict will ever get resolved while blaming others for all the problems.
We need to examine ourselves. Certainly there may be more fault on one side than there is on the other, but virtually always there is some fault on both sides. And good relationships are not built by two people who never do anything wrong. Good relationships are built by people who aren’t too proud to admit where they are wrong and try to make it right.
Maybe you are only 5% responsible and your spouse or some other family member shares 95% of the blame. Don’t focus on the 95% of that other person. That’s their problem. That’s their responsibility and God will hold them accountable for that. Focus instead on your own wrong actions or attitudes that make up that 5% and take full responsibility for them.
Be willing to humble yourself and to go to that person with whom you are having the conflict and without mentioning their offenses, humbly and meekly take responsibility for your own.
It’s amazing how many times, all it takes is for someone to assume full responsibility for their own sin, and God will begin to heal the hurts and bitterness and restore that broken relationship.
There are eight words that every married person ought to learn to say regularly – “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries