Expectations destroy relationships!

“When a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7).

Expectations destroy relationships!

Everybody has unrealistic expectations for marriage because there are actually six people at the altar when the marriage takes place.

First of all there’s the girl she thinks she is; the girl he thinks she is; and the girl she really is. Then there’s the man he thinks he is; the man she thinks he is; and the man he really is. Six different people standing at the marriage altar.

Shortly after the wedding takes place, four of those people disappear and two are left in clear, sharp focus. When we settle into the reality of married life and discover what the person we married is really like, we tend to react because they have not lived up to our expectations. We become disappointed and even angry and bitter thinking we’ve been cheated or deceived.

We need to accept each other’s differences and realise that God is using those differences to build in us the character of His Son, Jesus Christ. Those differences give us the opportunity to be more understanding, more sensitive and more forgiving. This in turn can produce a oneness of spirit that will bind and knit your hearts together irrespective of any differences you might have.

Give your expectations to the Lord. The less you expect, the less you will be disappointed. The wife who became angry when her husband regularly returned home late from work, finally gave her expectations to the Lord. She was delighted when he arrived home an hour late – because she wasn’t expecting him at all!

Have you placed expectations on your spouse and others? Die to those expectations! Give them to the Lord. Our expectations of others will only destroy our relationships.

When we have learned the valuable character lessons God is teaching us through the differences of others, it’s amazing how He also changes the other person so that “when a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7).