The Character Journal is a monthly e-zine designed to help parents teach Biblical character qualities to their children. Each month a different character quality is presented with suggestions for Bible lessons and projects. The length of time you spend teaching these principles to your children each day is not nearly as important as your sincerity and consistency. Begin each time with a relevant hymn or chorus. Then take a verse, theme or story from the suggestions below as the basis for your daily "Bible Time" with your family. Give relevant application of the lesson to your family; and don't forget to ask your children the questions: Who? What? Where? Why? When? and How? Get each member of the family involved by assigning different verses to be read. Finally, conclude your time with family prayer.

Related Hymns and Choruses

• Amazing Grace (John Newton, 1779)
• Blest Be the Tie that Binds (John Fawcett, 1782)
• Just as I Am (Charlotte Elliott, 1834)
• Rescue the Perishing (FannyJ. Crosby, 1869)
• Whosoever Will (Philip P. Bliss, 1870)

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Bible Verses Related to Tolerance

Spend an evening (or several) looking at just one of these verses at a time. Discuss with your family what each verse or story teaches about the character quality; and give vital application of how this quality can be applied to your family. Choose several verses to memorise together as a family during the month. Since the English word "tolerance" does not appear in the Authorised Version, we have included a list of verses which relate to this important character quality. For a more complete study, we suggest you use the Online Bible which you can download free of charge from our web site at http://www.hlm.org/html/files.htm.

• Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
• Matthew 9:10 And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples.
• Mark 9:38 And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us.
• Mark 9:39 But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me.
• Luke 9:49 And John answered and said, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbad him, because he followeth not with us.
• Luke 9:50 And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.
• 1 Corinthians 13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed [the poor], and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, {vaunteth…: or, is not rash}
• Philippians 1:17 But the other of love, knowing that I am set for the defence of the gospel.
• Philippians 1:18 What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice.
• Philippians 2:2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind.
• James 2:1 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, [the Lord] of glory, with respect of persons.
• James 2:2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; {assembly: Gr. synagogue}
• James 2:3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: {in…: or, well, or, seemly}
• James 2:4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?
• James 2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:
• James 2:9 But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.

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Bible Stories

• The story of Peter and Cornelius (Acts 10)
• Jesus was tollerant of Judas even though he knew he was a thief and would eventually betray Him
• Daniel with King Darius (Dan. 6:1-23) (Key Verse:21)
• David was not tolerant of others guilty of his same sin (2 Samuel 12:1-14)

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Character Definitions

• Learning how to respond to the immaturity of others without accepting their standard of immaturity. Learning to accept others as unique expressions of specific character qualities in varying degrees of maturity (IBLP - Character Clues Game)
• Accepting others at different levels of maturity. (Character First!)
• Realizing that everyone is at varying levels of character development (International Association of Character Cities)

• The action or practice of bearing pain or hardship; the power or ability to endure something.  (The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary)

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How to Demonstrate Tolerance

at Home

• Focusing on family members' strengths instead of their weaknesses.
• A parent realizing that each child will grow and develop good character at different levels of enthusiasm and maturity.
• Parents not showing favoritism to certain children.
• Sons and daughters accepting that parents are still growing in character and are not perfect.
• Family members being patient with each other.

at Work/School

• Show kindness and acceptance to all - not just those you are comfortable with.
• Be careful to understand the difference between rejecting the "sin" and not rejecting the "sinner."

at Church

• Refrain from telling others about what you disagree with in the pastor's sermons - welcome those disagreements as motivations to search the Scriptures.
• Make a point of inviting a different church family or individual to your home each month for a meal.
• Look out for visitors and be the first to greet and welcome them to your church.
• Pray with someone new each week in prayer meeting.

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Potpourri

The "I Wills" of Tolerance

• I will not confuse what is right with what is popular
• I will expect the same of myself as I expect of others
• I will look for ways to help others mature
• I will accept my own unchangeables and the unchangeables of others
• I will listen before I form an opinion

-Character First! Education Series 2

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Beware of the "New" Tolerance

Twelve to 24 months from now pastors,  leaders, and parents in churches across our country are likely to wake up and say, "What happened to our young people?" The answer will be summed up in one word ... tolerance.

In almost every Christian home, you will find two definitions of tolerance -- one held by the parents, the other by the kids. Both think they are saying the same thing -- but they aren't. And parents are realizing it too late.

The traditional definition of tolerance is: "to recognize and respect (others' beliefs, practices, etc.) without necessarily agreeing or sympathizing" (Webster's New Twentieth Century Dictionary). This is what you and I were taught.

But today's definition -- the one our kids are being taught -- is vastly different. It says "every individual's beliefs, values, lifestyles, and truth claims are equal." In other words, all beliefs are equal. All values are equal. All lifestyles are equal. All truth is equal.

So what's the problem? What happens when your child is taught that his beliefs and values are no different from a Muslim --or a homosexual -- or someone involved in pre-marital sex? This is today's tolerance. And it's the number one virtue in America, especially among our youth.

Our kids are being taught that all truth is relative to the individual.  Knowing Right from Wrong doesn't matter. To say something is right or wrong is  not being tolerant.

Josh McDowell - www.Josh.org

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Six Probing Questions

• Do the irritations of others cause you to reject opportunities to help them grow spiritually?
• Do you genuinely love a sinner while hating his sin?
• Do you invite prominent people to your home to enhance your reputation?
• Who are you excited abou helping to make successful?
• Are you quick to acknowledge when you are wrong and take steps to correct it?
• Do you grieve over the hurts you have caused others or simply ask forgiveness to clear your conscience?

-Character Clues Game, IBLP

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Ten Unchangeables (Craft)

Each of us has things in our lives which cannot be changed. It is important that we not only learn to accept these "unchangeables" in others but also in ourselves. Help the children accept the following unchangeables in themselves and others.

1. I am "One of a Kind"--The children should understand that they are special and no one else in the world is just like them.

2. My Birth Parents--No one can change who their birth parents are, even if not living with them.

3. My Brothers and Sisters--Just like birth parents, brothers and sisters by birth are something that cannot be changed.

4. Race--Each person has a particular race.

5. Mental Capacity--Each person is naturally more or less gifted at academics, sports, or mechanical skills.

6. Time in History--Each person is born on a certain day, in a certain year. We cannot change how old we are.

7. Gender--Each person is born as a boy or girl.

8. Order in My Family--Each person has a place in the order of siblings, either firstborn or perhaps the fourth among brothers and sisters.

9. Aging--Each person has physical changes that will naturally occur as he or she gets older.

10. Death--At some point, each of us will die.

In order to remember the ten unchangeables, give each child ten colored strips of paper and have them write one of the unchangeables on each strip. Then link the strips together to form a paper chain. Encourage the children to use the paper chains to remember the importance of accepting these things as part of their lives and making the best use of all of them.

-Character First! Education Series 2

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A Good Winner and a Good Loser

Winning should not take a back seat to sportsmanship. Neither should sportsmanship take a back seat to winning. The two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, sportsmanship and winning go hand in hand. Those who demonstrate the highest standards of sportsmanship most often achieve the greatest success in their sport. Tolerance is a major part of sportsmanship. It bonds a team together. It motivates a patient coach to instruct a slow student, and allows varying degrees of maturity to play together on the same court. It does not accept cheating or violating the rules. On the other hand, it does not justify abuse, either physical or verbal. Tolerance is the character quality which accepts unchangeables and changes unacceptables.

Ten Commandments of Sportsmanship

Be a Good Winner
1. Deflect the Praise
When you win, remember to recognize those who have made you successful. Instead of holding on to the praise you receive, pass it on to those who share in your success. A good winner shares praise with teammates.
2. Play By the Rules
Breaking the rules cheapens the victory. It is no different than attempting to steal something that is not yours. Every competitor who steps onto a court must agree to play by the same set of rules--or sit on the bench.
3. Praise the Good in Others
Good sports cheer for others' successes. They don't mock others' failures. A good winner points out how well the opponent played.
4. Respect the Officials
Professional sports teams have learned the value of officials. Even the "televised instant replay" cannot make every call right. Though you may disagree with a call, always show respect to the one who made it.
5. Teach Others to be Successful
A good winner takes time to help others rise to the same level of success. A good winner is a role model and a coach to others who want to follow in his or her footsteps.

 

Be a Good Loser

6. Learn from Your Mistakes

A good loser reviews mistakes and learns from them so as not to make the same mistakes twice.

7. Avoid Trash Talking

A good loser doesn't gain acceptance by putting others down. Displays of anger don't erase defeat.
8. Congratulate the Winner
The mark of a real sport is one who can humbly acknowledge that on a given day at a given time, someone else was better.

9. Build the Whole Team

Because the whole team benefits when one player improves, a good loser invests in the others.
10. Return to Play Another Day
A good loser doesn't quit. He or she prepares for the next game and comes back to win.

-Character First! Education Series 2

Book Report - The New Tolerance by Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler

 

The New Tolerance, is perhaps one of the most informing and motivating books I have ever read. Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler have done a great job of compiling a well-rounded look at, what I agree to be one of the most dangerous situations in the world today. We are undergoing a kind of "cultural metamorphosis" that is changing every area of everyday life. In this book, the two authors unmask the true nature of the "tolerance" movement, as well as its secret and dangerous agenda. McDowell looks at what has happened in years past, what is happening now and what every American can do to stop it.

I really like McDowell's likening of the Borg from Star Trek to the proponents of the new tolerance. "The Borg do not coexist with other life forms or cultures. They destroy any inferior individuals or worlds they encounter and assimilate all others. They have no conscience. No ethic. And they will not stop until they have destroyed or assimilated all their enemies."(1)

McDowell starts of by defining what tolerance used to mean. "To recognize and respect [others beliefs, practices, etc.] without sharing them," and "to bare or put-up with [someone or something not especially liked]." But today, he demonstrates, it means something entirely different. He uses several stories to demonstrate his point, which I thought was very effective.

One of the stories he tells is about a mother who is expecting her daughter home from college one weekend. The girl wants her mother to meet her boyfriend so she's bringing him home with her. The daughter basically tells the mom that she is sleeping with the guy and that they will be sharing a bed while at home. The surprised and hurt mother pitched a fit and the daughter lashes back with a statement like, "You have your value system, and I have mine. The fact that they are different doesn't mean one is right and the other is wrong. And it doesn't mean we can't respect each other's opinions. In fact that's the whole point. We need to respect and honor differing value systems-yours, mine, everyone else's-just as we honor and respect our own."(5)

This was a fictional story but it made a very real and sobering point-the "gulf" between parents and their young people is widening every day. What was wrong and taboo a few decades ago is now generally acceptable behavior. Case after case, incident after incident, McDowell shows us how the new tolerance is not only becoming the prevailing school of thought but it is being actively endorsed and enforced in institutions around the country. A story about a college professor's job being terminated directly because of his support of an on campus Christian organization; a first grader in Florida being reprimanded and told that she is not allowed to talk about Jesus at school; a fourth grader bowing his head in silent prayer at lunch and being told to do so again would result in disciplinary action.

Christian children and teenagers in communities all across North America and around the world are encountering and enduring such treatment on a regular basis. Why? According to McDowell, it is because of the new definition of tolerance. One of my biggest questions is "How can 'tolerant' people be so intolerant of the Christian faith?" My question was answered in chapter 4. "Why the difference [between the allowance of Buddhist studies, and similar in public universities and the deliberate exclusion of Christian studies]? The agenda of the new tolerance is not to privatize all faiths-only those that proclaim a belief in absolute truth-primarily Christianity and Orthodox Judaism."(60)

For many centuries our laws were written and established in accordance to God's standards as spoken by God to his people and as recorded in the Bible. McDowell says this is no longer so. "…we now establish our standards and judge morality according to a far more flexible concept of truth, one that suggests that there are no absolutes-that all truth is relative; right and wrong differ from person to person and from culture to culture."(54) This is evident in several ways, according to McDowell. By the death of truth, the disappearance of virtue, the demise of justice, the loss of conviction, the privatization of faith, the tyranny of the individual, the disintegration of human rights, the dominance of feeling, the exaltation of nature, and the decent into extremes. Each of these is discussed in shocking detail in chapter 4.

The story that shocked me most was about an incident at West High School in Salt Lake City, Utah. The school choir was practicing for their upcoming graduation ceremonies. Two of the songs they planned to sing, traditional favorites at the school, contained references to "God" and "Lord." One student objected to the songs. She claimed that they were "offensive" and "violated her civil rights." She sued the school, and the Federal Court of Appeals in Denver prohibited the choir from singing songs at the graduation ceremonies. "Under the aegis of the new tolerance, our society has created a new civil right: the right neither to be offended, nor even to have to listen to competing truth claims."(61)

McDowell also does a great job of exposing the tactics of the tolerance movement. These are a crafty system of name calling and labeling any opposing view with words like hostility, hatred, cruelty, and bigotry. "These tactics have repeatedly proven effective for the proponents of the new tolerance."(74) Examples of this name-calling would be that if someone expresses disagreement with the homosexual lifestyle, they are labeled a "homophobe." Non-agreement becomes hatred. Christian creeds, prayers, and symbols become discriminatory. Conviction becomes fanaticism.

"Because the gospel of Jesus Christ is an affront to the doctrine of the new tolerance (which claims that all beliefs, behaviors, and truth claims are equal), the government is repeatedly called upon by the proponents of the new tolerance (who often have a pervasive influence in the government) to cleanse our schools, towns, cities, states, and provinces of Christian voices and ideas."(138) McDowell identifies many groups throughout the book, including the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and Direct Action to Stop Homophobia (DASH) that are constantly petitioning the government in such a manner. He talks about certain "flash points" that we consistently face in today's cultural climate. These include issues surrounding separation of church and state, life and death (abortion, euthanasia, etc.), and marriage and sexuality.

McDowell gives us a very practical and Biblical way, the "more excellent way," to deal with and approach all these areas. He discloses certain "danger zones" which, if left unguarded will allow the new tolerance thinking to seep in to our own thought process undetected. These danger zones include art and literature, various forms of entertainment (TV, Movies, etc.), health and medicine (weird treatments, meditations, therapies, etc.), and science (Darwinism, etc.). Practical tips include exhortation to parents to monitor their children's viewing content on TV. He also advises people to understand what a given book, show or song is saying, to evaluate how the message is being presented, and to respond by asking the question, "Does my evaluation require me to accept or reject the message?"(163)

The theme of the entire book is an admonition to Christians to "aggressively live in [Christian] love while humbly pointing to the truth." He reminds the reader of what Peter taught in 1 Peter 3:8-9, "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing." It is my belief that too many individual Christians have missed this point and that is one of the reasons why we, as a whole are being attacked by the proponents of the new tolerance so viciously. I grasped other exhortations like, "Don't complain about the problem, contribute to the solution...Counter immoral principles, not the people that promote them...Develop community, show compassion, be a model of your convictions, and to be ready to offer a compelling personal testimony."(Ch.11)

The final thought McDowell and Hostetler leave us with is this: "After all, the only way to truly eliminate an enemy is to make him a friend. That is what God did with us; when we were God's enemies the Bible says, He "reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ..."(206) That is the "more excellent way" to which Christians are called. A way to enter into a relationship with a needy world and offer it love and acceptance. "The living Christ bids us to enter into relationship with others, even if those whose beliefs or behavior seem reprehensible to us…" (101) "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." (Luke 19:10)

 

Copyright 2000 by Doug Stokes - dougstokes.homepage.com/tolerance.html

 

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Quotes on Tolerance 

Toleration—Let us be very gentle with our neighbours’ failings, and forgive our friends their debts as we hope ourselves to be forgiven.—THACKERAY.

There is nothing to do with men but to love them; to contemplate their virtues with admiration, their faults with pity and forbearance, and their injuries with forgiveness.—DEWEY.

Tolerance is the only real test of civilization.—ARTHUR HELPS.

If thou canst not make thyself such an one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another in all things to thy liking?—THOMAS A KEMPIS.

Let us often think of our own infirmities, and we shall become indulgent toward those of others.—FENELON.

Has not God borne with you these many years? Be ye tolerant to others.—HOSEA BALLOU.

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Character Building Resources

The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo

Do you have an angry child? Do you know someone who does? Did you know that parents often unknowingly provoke their children to the point of anger? This is a manual for parents seeking to correct or prevent the development of those angry responses which characterise what the Bible calls "an angry man." This book by Lou Priolo contains the practical help and real hope for all those facing these vital concerns. Click here to purchase The Heart of Anger from our Online Store. £8.75

 

How to Win the Heart of a Rebel by Dr. S.M. Davis

This powerful message by Dr. S.M. Davis gives a precise and proven plan for parents to follow to turn around a rebellious teen, or to prevent them from rebelling. The video includes on-screen graphics of outlines and Scriptures. Many testimonies from around the world attest to the effectiveness of the Biblical principles expounded in this message. Parents of younger children say that the message has helped them understand parenting so as to prevent problems with their children. Some parents say they listen to the message every few weeks to help them stay "on track" as a parent. Still other parents have found the message to be the "lifeline" to stop a descent into destruction and save the life and future of their rebellious teen. Click here to purchase How to Win the Heart of a Rebel from our Online Store or visit us at http://www.hlm.org. Audio £3.50, Video £13.50  

 

We Use CharacterLink™ - The Protected Internet Access Service

The cost of bringing the Internet into your home may be much more than just the monthly on-line charges. CharacterLink™ - the protected Internet access service developed by the Institute in Basic Life Principles is available throughout the USA and Canada through local dial-in connection. If you live outside of North America, you can still benefit from CharacterLink's™ protection through a Protection-Only account. The Protection Only plan was created specifically for those outside of local calling areas. You choose your local Internet Service Provider (ISP), and CharacterLink™ will protect your access. CharacterLink™ will provide software that will "hard-code" CharacterLink™ Protection into your browser, enabling you to benefit from CharacterLink™ Protection. CharacterLink™ allows you and your family to safely browse the WWW automatically blocking pornography and other harmful material. For more information see the CharacterLink™ web site at http://www.characterlink.net.

 

IBLP Resources

We are also privileged to be able to distribute a range of character building materials produced by the Institute in Basic Life Principles including Character Sketches Volumes 1-3, Character First! Education Curriculum and more. E-mail us to request a list of resources available. If you live in the USA, you may request a catalogue and order directly by calling 630-323-9800, or writing IBLP, Box One, Oak Brook, IL 60522-3001.

 

Video & Audio Tape Messages by Dr. S.M. Davis on Courtship, Marriage and Parenting

Dr. S.M. Davis is a much sought after conference speaker addressing issues on the Christian home. He is particularly well known for his presentations on alternatives to Christian dating. For a list of audio and video tapes available visit our web site at http://www.hlm.org. NOTE: If you live in the USA, you may order Dr. Davis' video and audio tapes by calling 800-500-8853.

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Sources used for compiling this mailing:

• The Online Bible
• Character First! Education Series 2, Oak Brook, IL
• Character Clues Game (IBLP)
• Achieving True Success: How to Build Character as a Family, International Association of Character Cities, Oklahoma City

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Home Life Ministries - Pastures Farm Cottage - Kimbolton Road - Hail Weston - Huntingdon - Cambridgeshire - PE19 5LB - England - E-mail: info@hlm.org - Internet: www.hlm.org