Home Life Ministries
Character Journal No.27

Flexibility

The Character Journal is a monthly e-zine designed to help parents teach Biblical character qualities to their children. Each month a different character quality is presented with suggestions for Bible lessons and projects.

Related Hymns and Choruses

Bible Verses Related to Flexibility

Spend an evening (or several) looking at just one of these verses at a time. Discuss with your family what each verse or story teaches about the character quality; and give vital application of how this quality can be applied to your family. Choose several verses to memorise together as a family during the month. Since the English word "flexibility" does not appear in the Authorised Version, we have included a list of verses which relate to this important character quality.

Genesis 12:1 Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:

1 Samuel 15:23 For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king. {witchcraft: Heb. divination}

Psalms 40:8 I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law [is] within my heart. {within…: Heb. in the midst of my bowels}

Psalms 123:2 Behold, as the eyes of servants [look] unto the hand of their masters, [and] as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes [wait] upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us.

Mark 1:16-18 Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. 17 And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men. 18 And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him.
Psalms 62:10 Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches increase, set not your heart [upon them].
 
Matthew 6:19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
 
Luke 14:27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
 
Philippians 1:23 For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
 
Colossians 3:1-2 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. {affection: or, mind}
 
2 Timothy 2:4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of [this] life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.
 
1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
 
1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Bible Stories

Character Definitions

How to Demonstrate Flexibility

at Home

at Work/School

at Church

Potpourri

The "I Wills" of Flexibility

Children all too frequently cry, pout, complain, and even throw temper tantrums when they don't get their way. The character quality of flexibility recognises that such behaviour is wrong. It is not only wrong, but creates extremely difficult situations for both parents and teachers alike. Sometimes these wrong behaviours are simply learned. Children learn that when they cry, they get their way and when they pout, parents or teachers give in. Teaching flexibility helps to counteract such manipulative behaviour by encouraging self-control, patience, and discretion.

Flexibility is optimistic in that it looks for the good in something. The word optimistic comes from the same Latin root as optimum, which means "best." A flexible child considers a change in light of its benefits and looks for the best to happen as a result of the change. Even cancelled outings or rescheduled activities offer some kind of good. By looking for the good in something rather than the worst, a flexible child usually finds it.

The fact is that children and students can't always understand why things change. They don't share the same knowledge, experience, or maturity that comes with being a parent or a teacher. Regardless of how much or how little they do understand, they can still respect the position of authority by listening, asking questions, and controlling emotional impulses.

Stubborn means "remaining stiff and fixed in one place." The original meaning of the word was considered a compliment. To use the word implied that someone was resolute and steadfast. In the fastpaced and ever-changing world in which children live today, the term refers to those who are obstinate, opinionated, or refuse to bend. Unfortunately, those who refuse to bend often break.

While flexibility encourages one to accept change, flexibility does not yield to changes which are legally and morally wrong. Flexibility never excuses wrong behaviour by blaming it on others, including authorities. It doesn't say "I was just following orders," because it knows and holds fast to what is right.

-Character First! Education Series 3

Adapting One's Self to Circumstances

Very few men and women can adapt themselves to all circumstances. They may adapt themselves to some circumstances, but not to all. Lazy, shiftless people have the poorest faculty to do this; enterprising, successful men and women can do it readily, for it is one of the conditions for success. They are obliged to make the best of things, bitter though the experience may be, and so they must accept the situation day by day. To sit down and lament and lose heart under any circumstances is to give up the race of life.

There lies before me a Maine woman's description of her pioneer life in the valley of the Penobscot. She says:-

"Trees were big ones in those days, and husband could not pile them alone, and we had no neighbours with whom we could exchange works, so he used to help me in the morning about the house, and then we went out into the clearing. Husband would get one end of a log well up on the pile and then I used to put a handspike under that and hold it until he could pry up the other end. I made all the cloth we had; made a year's sweetening from maple syrup. I knit mittens, socks, shirts, and drawers, and even made cloth caps and my own bonnet."

She was happy, with all the privations of her pioneer life, but she might have been otherwise, and she might have made her husband wretched, too; She had a capital opportunity to accomplish both. Many women would have been miserable in the circumstances, for the want of this excellent faculty of adapting themselves to circumstances. She possessed this quality in a high degree, and her humble home in the woods had as much real enjoyment in it as was ever found in a palace, and probably more.

But the mass of young people, and older ones as well, are not living pioneer lives. They dwell were society is settled, its manners and customs fixed. And yet they have as much need of the quality under discussion as pioneers in order that social life may be enjoyed at its best. There is no day when its possession will not result in good. In the most common walks of life as well as in the most select, its use is constantly demanded. For example, a Christian woman was in affluent circumstances. Her husband was able to provide her with all the servants she desired, and with all the comforts and even the elegances of a city home. But unexpectedly and suddenly he lost his property, and his business, too. "I can support the family by keeping boarders," suggested the lady. Her husband imposed objections to that, as it might impair her health. "I have no doubt that it will do me good," she replied laughing. "Well, you take a philosophic view of the matter, I must confess," continued her husband; "You do not seem to be very much troubled with your new experience." "Why should I be troubled?" responded the wife. "I have no doubt that it will turn out for the best in the end; that is the way things do when we endeavour to make them turn out for the best." Such a disposition is a fortune to a man or woman; it is really success itself, at least on one line.

There is much disappointment, chagrin, and failure among men for the want of this ability to accept the situation. We see it in the common walks of life, among all classes and conditions of men. A few adapt themselves to circumstances, while the many are out of sorts with their surroundings and accomplish nothing because they cannot have everything to their liking. "It is a great blessing to possess what one wishes," said one to an ancient philosopher, who replied, "It is a greater blessing still, not to desire what one does not possess."

John Newton once said, "If two angels were sent down from heaven, one to conduct an empire, and the other to sweep a street, they would feel no inclination to change employments." That is, the higher and purer the nature, the more readily do men adapt themselves to circumstances and rest satisfied. Angelic natures do it best. So that the human quality in question is not small or mean, but high and noble.

Youth needs it as much as age, yea more; for in youth both male and female are doing things for all time, and even for eternity. The earlier the disposition to be content with the allotments of Providence is established, the better will it be for all the future, here and hereafter. In the home and schoolroom, on the playground and in social life, its beneficial influence will be enjoyed. Addison said that "it destroys all inordinate ambition, and every tendency to corruption with regard to the community to which we are placed. It gives sweetness to the conversation, and serenity to all the thoughts. It is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world; and if in the present life his happiness arises from the subduing of all his desires, it will arise in the next from the gratification of them."

- taken from Gaining Favor with God and Man

Boy Still Standing Inside

A mother repeatedly told her little boy to sit down. The boy continued to stand, disobeying his mother. Finally, the mother went to him and forced him down in a chair. The boy said, "I may be sitting down on the outside, but on the inside I'm still standing up!"

Encyclopaedia of 7,700 Illustrations
Monkey's Clenched Fist

In North Africa the natives have a very easy way to capture monkeys. A gourd, with a hole just sufficiently large so that a monkey can thrust his hand into it, is filled with nuts and fastened firmly to a branch of a tree at sunset. During the night a monkey will discover the scent of food, and its source, and will put his hand into the gourd and grasp a handful of nuts. But the hole is too small for the monkey to withdraw his clenched fist, and he has not sense enough to let go of his bounty so that he may escape. Thus he pulls and pulls without success, and when morning comes he is quickly and easily taken.

Personal Evaluation - How flexible are you?

- taken from The Power for True Success - How to Build Character in Your Life

Quotations

If you want to grow, you must be willing to stretch. — Anonymous

Some minds are like finished concrete - throughly mixed and permanently set — Unknown

HOW TO DEVELOP CHARACTER QUALITIES

REALISE THE IMPORTANCE OF LEARNING THIS CHARACTER QUALITY.
There are three major reasons why we must learn character. First, it reveals the true nature of Christ Who is the perfect fulfilment of each quality. Second, it is the basis for success in life. Lasting achievement is not possible without it. Third, it explains why things happen to us. God's ultimate purpose in our lives is to conform us to the image of Christ. Only with this in mind can we understand how all things work together for good. (See Romans 8:28-29.)
 
MEMORIZE THE OPERATIONAL DEFINITION.
An operational definition goes beyond the dictionary to include the practical function of the term. For example, listening goes beyond hearing to the interpretation of ideas, and the evaluation of how they can be used in our lives. Nodding, smiling, taking notes, asking questions, or making comments are manifestations of listening.
 
IDENTIFY THE QUALITY IN SCRIPTURE.
By using a concordance, various aspects of a quality can be discovered. For example, researching attentiveness would include studying verses which deal with listening, hearing, giving ear, and being still. In addition to verses, think of biographical illustrations that would illustrate both positive and negative aspects of the quality. Samuel listened to God's voice while Eli was inattentive to it.
 
EXPAND WITH SYNONYMS AND ANTONYMS.
Knowing what a quality is not is often as helpful as knowing what it is. Use a Thesaurus to expand your understanding of the words which were found in the concordance.
 
BALANCE WITH RELATED QUALITIES.
No quality stands alone; it needs others to keep it from being used inappropriately or incompletely. Attentiveness must be balanced with discernment and combined with obedience
 
LIST WHEN AND WHERE THE QUALITY IS TO BE USED.
Attentiveness is the first character quality to be learned. The ear is the first sensory organ to be developed in the womb. At least eighty percent of the communication in our lives depends upon attentiveness. The degree of attentiveness will be demonstrated during times of prayer, listening to sermons, hearing the instruction of parents, conversing with others, receiving discipline, and reading books.
 
DESIGN GUIDELINES TO LEARN THE QUALITY.
After understanding the importance and scope of a quality, think through practical disciplines that would be necessary to make that quality a living part of each area of your life. To be attentive, learn to sit still for a given period of time; do not talk while others are speaking; lean forward when being spoken to; take notes during sermons or instruction; and maintain eye contact during conversations.
 
TURN PROBLEMS INTO CHARACTER CLASSES.
During the week that you are working on a particular character quality, expect God to give you specially designed situations in which the quality can be better understood and more deeply applied. Welcome trials and temptations as character-building friends rather than resented intruders.
 
EVALUATE PROGRESS.
At the end of the week/month have each family member draw the name of another family member and answer the following questions:

Taken from the Advanced Seminar Textbook of the Institute in Basic Life Principles

 
Sources used for compiling this mailing: