“Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes” (Song of Solomon 2:15).
For many couples, holy wedlock has become an unholy deadlock.
There are many reasons why marriages experience tension, but it usually begins with, what may be regarded as, little offenses. Severe damage is then done to the relationship over a prolonged period of time when these offenses are ignored or even considered irrelevant. Every husband and wife needs to be aware that any offense committed against their partner – no matter how small – has the potential of producing devastating consequences in their marriage.
One little offense after another produces tension in the relationship. That tension is cumulative; and this is the reason why a list of minor offenses over a period of time produces a build-up of tension that can destroy a marriage.
If offenses are not dealt with properly, and forgiveness is not sought or given, then that tension will not go away! The cumulative tension has the potential to break and destroy that relationship.
Marriages are not destroyed overnight. They break down and are destroyed, many times, because of this cumulative effect of tension in the relationship. Past hurts have not been properly resolved, and added to that is the guilt from the wrong responses to those hurts.
Ask the Lord to bring to your mind past word, actions, or attitudes that may have hurt your spouse. And no matter how small or insignificant they may seem, humble yourself and take responsibility for causing that offense and ask forgiveness.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries