Category Archives: Responsibility
Conflict Resolution: Admit, Don’t Quit
John Wesley’s Advice on How to Vote in an Election
“October 6, 1774
I met those of our society who had votes in the ensuing election, and advised them
1. To vote, without fee or reward, for the person they judged most worthy
2. To speak no evil of the person they voted against, and
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― John Wesley, The Journal of John Wesley
Character Training Should Take Precedence Over Academics
A wise parent will begin early to teach their children character and will be constantly evaluating where their children are at and what character qualities they need to develop.
Think about the children that God has blessed you with. Do they have the necessary character traits to have a successful marriage and a successful life?
Do they know how to yield their rights and give in, or are they constantly arguing and fighting so that they can have things their way?
Do they know how to forgive, or are they angry and bitter toward others who have hurt or offended them in the past?
Most conflicts in marriage, church and the workplace can be traced back to the absence of needed character qualities.
If a young lady is not submissive to her parents then she will not be submissive to the leadership of her husband and there will be all kinds of conflicts and problems.
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Teaching Godly character should be the goal of every Christian parent. And if you have young children especially, your main goal is not to teach 1+1=2 – as important as that knowledge is. Following their salvation, your main goal is to teach your children the character of Christ.
There is a Biblical order given in 2 Peter 1:5 – “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge.” Virtue – or character – should take precedence over academics. That doesn't mean that you throw out the textbooks! It’s simply a question of priorities.
By investing in their character training now, you could be saving your children’s future marriage from the tragedy of divorce and failed relationships.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
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Home Is The Boot Camp for Life
“But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank…” (Daniel 1:8).
Daniel had been taken from the security of his home and family into the corruption and sensuality of Babylon. He was a teenager. His decisions, however, were not governed by hormones but by inward convictions. As a young man, Daniel purposed in his heart to do what was right. Where did he learn that? He learned it at home.
Home is the boot camp for life. It’s the Basic Training that helps prepare a child for every eventuality. The Training Manual is the Word of God. Parents have sixteen plus years to build God’s Ways into the life of each child. That sounds like a long time but it quickly passes.
Parents, if you want to pass on to your children a purpose that’s worth living for, then you need to start teaching them and passing on convictions that are worth standing alone for. If our children do not have a purpose worth standing for, then they have absolutely nothing worth living for.
Life is meaningless apart from Jesus Christ, and it is the responsibility of every Christian parent to communicate this to their children. The most effective way to communicate this truth is not only to teach it but to practice it. Show them that Jesus Christ is important to you by spending time with them in God’s Word. If they ask you a question, don’t just tell them what you think. Ask them what God thinks and take them to the Word of God for their answers. Don’t just tell them they can’t do a certain thing, explain the Biblical principle behind the restriction.
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Following Scriptural principles represents a far superior way of life than anything else that the world has to offer. When a Christian stands alone in doing what is right or refusing to do what is wrong, he is saying to the world, “I have something worth standing for.”
The world today is frantically looking for meaning and purpose in life and they’re not going to find it in Christianity unless we as Christians are willing to make a stand for the Truth of God’s Word without compromise.
Give your children the desire to follow God’s ways by being a living demonstration of its truths and principles.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Discipline – A Biblical Balance
“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15).
When it comes to child discipline there are two extremes.
There are some who teach spanking as the predominant aspect of Biblical child rearing, but it’s not. It should be the exception rather than the rule and only when they have intentionally disobeyed. Don’t discipline a child for just spilling a glass of milk if he didn’t intentionally do it on purpose.
The key factor in child rearing is not discipline – if that’s you’re emphasis then you’re headed for trouble. The key factor in child rearing is to win the child’s heart (Proverbs 23:26; Malachi 4:6). If you discipline without having the child’s heart then you are sowing the seeds of bitterness and rebellion. The more you have of your child’s heart, the less you will need to discipline.
There is also a fine line between discipline and abuse. If you discipline in anger then you have stepped across that line (Proverbs 22:8). Don’t ever discipline a child if you’re angry. And if you do, you need to take responsibility for your anger and you need to sincerely ask that child’s forgiveness. You may also need to make yourself accountable to your spouse or church leadership.
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The other extreme refuses to discipline at all. The parents themselves may have been abused. They may have witnessed the frustrated mother exploding in the grocery store and they associate any form of physical discipline in a very negative light. But the right kind of discipline is not negative – it’s positive. There is nothing violent or abusive about discipline if it is done Biblically.
The motivation of Biblical discipline is not to punish but to teach the child. Proverbs 29:15 says “The rod and reproof give wisdom…” It would be inapt for a parent not to correct his child’s math allowing him to believe that 1+1=3; but it is also inapt for the parent not to correct his child’s selfishness and disobedience allowing him to believe that his inappropriate behavior is acceptable.
The Bible is very clear that God expects parents to discipline and teach their children. It’s not the job of the school, the day-care, the church or even the state. It is the parent’s responsibility to “… bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
Eight Words We All Need to Say
“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom” (Proverbs 13:10).
Whenever there is contention, anger or bitterness, you can know that pride is certainly involved. Pride destroys marriages and families. Pride is unteachable. It refuses to see its own problems. Pride is quick to blame others and refuses to take responsibility.
No conflict will ever get resolved while blaming others for all the problems.
We need to examine ourselves. Certainly there may be more fault on one side than there is on the other, but virtually always there is some fault on both sides. And good relationships are not built by two people who never do anything wrong. Good relationships are built by people who aren’t too proud to admit where they are wrong and try to make it right.
Maybe you are only 5% responsible and your spouse or some other family member shares 95% of the blame. Don’t focus on the 95% of that other person. That’s their problem. That’s their responsibility and God will hold them accountable for that. Focus instead on your own wrong actions or attitudes that make up that 5% and take full responsibility for them.
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Be willing to humble yourself and to go to that person with whom you are having the conflict and without mentioning their offenses, humbly and meekly take responsibility for your own.
It’s amazing how many times, all it takes is for someone to assume full responsibility for their own sin, and God will begin to heal the hurts and bitterness and restore that broken relationship.
There are eight words that every married person ought to learn to say regularly – “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
The Christian Home Should Be a Place of Security
“That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth” (Deuteronomy 11:21).
The nation of Israel is told to carefully follow God’s Ways, to turn from idolatry and to teach God’s Truth to their children, in order that their days may be “as the days of heaven upon the earth.”
Jesus said In John 14:2, “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you…” God is preparing “a place” for His children. It will be a wonderful place – we call it Heaven.
As parents, we are responsible to provide a place for our children. Whether it’s a trailer, a semi-detached, or a mansion, parents have the responsibility to make that place a “heaven upon the earth” for their children.
One of the chief characteristics of a “heavenly” home is that it should be a place of security. It should be free from fear and anxiety. We need never worry about ever being separated from our Heavenly Father. Jesus said in John 10:27-29, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand…”
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God is providing for us a place that is absolutely secure. That is the pattern we are to provide for our children: a home that is safe and secure, a home where the children know that mom and dad love each other, and each child is loved and accepted unconditionally. We need to provide a home where our children can retreat and find a safe haven of rest, a home where there is absolutely no possibility of divorce. A home that is totally secure!
One of your child’s greatest fears may be that one day my mom and dad are going to divorce just like the parents of their friends at school. You need to assure them that won’t happen. That means you don’t raise your voice in anger at each other in front of the children — or any other time for that matter.
Children are full of insecurities. Ask specific questions and get to know the needs and fears of each child. Help make those childhood years “as the days of heaven upon the earth” for your children.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
Focus on One Character Quality at a Time
You don’t have to teach your children how to steal, how to cheat, how to lie or how to be disobedient. That comes very naturally for all children. But you do need to teach them how to be truthful, how to respect authority, how to be kind, how to yield their rights, and how to forgive.
That’s the responsibility of every Christian parent. If God has blessed you with children, then He has given you the responsibility of teaching and instructing them in the ways of God. It’s not the responsibility of the church, the youth leader, or even the pastor; but it’s the responsibility of the Christian home. The Bible repeats time and time again the principle, “teach these things to your children” (Genesis 18:19; Exodus 13:14; Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:6; Psalm 78:4-6; Ephesians 4:6).
One of the best ways to teach Godly character is to study one character quality at a time in order to understand its nature, its importance, and its benefits. Attached to today’s posting is a sheet listing 49 character qualities and their definitions. (http://hlm.org/files/CharacterDefinitions.pdf).
Go through that sheet of character qualities and ask each person in your family to list what they think is the ten most important qualities that make a successful family.
List all the qualities they have chosen.
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Then add the numbers together to determine your priority list; and the quality with the lowest total should be the first quality you study and learn.
We have created a website to assist the teaching of Godly character to your children. You can find it at www.characterjournal.com. It provides Bible verses, stories, illustrations and games which you can use with younger children. This has also been used effectively with Bible clubs and the AWANA program.
In Matthew 11:29 Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me…” As you look through that listing of 49 character qualities, all of these qualities are personified in the Lord Jesus Christ. You cannot get to know Jesus Christ intimately apart from understanding His character.
There are artists who have painted portraits of Jesus – trying to imagine what He must have looked like. We don’t know what Jesus looked like on the outside, but by studying these character qualities we get a beautiful picture of what He looked like on the inside.
Don’t Sacrifice Family on the Altar of Corporate Success
Some time ago I had opportunity to talk to two Christian leaders. Both were well respected in their churches and had successful careers.
When asked how his family felt about his travelling from home so much (and he was gone sometimes weeks at a time), one of the men replied, "My family understands that my work comes first." There was no question that everyone understood this – especially his family.
While enjoying a meal with the other gentleman and his family, I asked if his wife cooked such good meals for him every evening. He replied, "I travel so much, I rarely eat at home."
What makes these examples so tragic is that both of these men had teenage children that had rejected the Lord, and both these men believed that their job or ministry was more important than meeting the spiritual and emotional needs of their family.
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If you are a parent then the most important ministry you have is toward your family (1 Timothy 3:5; 5:8; Deuteronomy 6:7; Genesis 18:19; Ephesians 6:4). If God has blessed you with children then they and your relationship with your spouse are your top priority after you own personal relationship with the Lord (Matthew 6:33).
Tom Peters is a secular author who has written several best sellers on the subject of business and excellence. He says, "We are frequently asked if it's possible to 'have it all'—a full satisfying personal life and a full and satisfying, hard-working professional one. Our answer is: No. The price of excellence is time, energy, attention and focus, at the very same time that energy, attention and focus could have gone toward enjoying your [child’s] soccer game."
Parenting is one of the most important jobs we will ever have. We can be successful in business, successful in the ministry – but if we are not first successful at home as a spouse and parent, what does it all matter? The most precious thing we have is the relationships we have with each other – especially family. Don’t sacrifice those relationships on the altar of corporate or even ministerial success.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
Home Comes First
“For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5).
While driving together along the A1 in Cambridgeshire, England – a pastor friend shared with me how the Lord had changed his attitude toward the family and made him realize that his responsibility toward his wife and children took precedence over his ministry.
As a young man, new in the ministry, my friend took every opportunity he could to preach and take meetings, often to the neglect of his family. One evening, after returning from a youth meeting, he found his young son in tears. “Daddy,” he said, “how is it that you find time to be with other boys and girls, but you never have time to be with me?” Those pleading words from the heart of that little child broke his father’s heart and caused him to re-evaluate his priorities.
Many years later, my friend devotes special attention to young husbands and fathers in his congregation. He shared how he told one young man who had been away from his family all week on a business trip that he did not want to see him at church on Sunday evening – he was to be at home with his wife and children. Oh, that more men in the ministry would have these same priorities and preach them with conviction to their congregations.
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Someone said that asking God to bless your family without investing both quality and quantity time with them is like asking the Lord to send a gust of wind to stop your speeding car because you neglected to check your brakes.
The most precious thing we have is the relationships we have with each other – especially family. Don’t sacrifice those relationships on the altar of corporate or even ministerial success.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
The Reformation’s Two Martins
At the beginning of the reformation, Martin of Basel came to a knowledge of the Truth; but, afraid to make a public confession, he wrote on a leaf of parchment:
“O most merciful Christ, I know that I can be saved only by the merit of Thy blood. Holy Jesus, I acknowledge Thy sufferings for me. I love Thee! I love Thee!”
Then he removed a stone from the wall of his chamber and hid it there. It was not discovered for more than a hundred years.
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About the same time, Martin Luther found the Truth as it is in Christ. He said:
“My Lord has confessed me before men; I will not shrink from confessing Him before kings.”
Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody
Once upon a time, there were four church members;
Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.
Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
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When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it.
So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.
If You Aren’t Praying, Then Who Is?
“And that from a child thou hast known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).
If you aren’t praying for your children, then who is? Given the pressures placed upon young people in our society today, your children need prayer! And if you aren’t praying daily for them, then it is very likely that they have no one else to plead for them before the throne of grace.
But what should you be praying for your children?
Above all else, pray that they will know Christ early in life. Ideally, we can begin this teaching and training before the child is even born – while he is still in the womb. This is confirmed by the Greek word Paul used for child in 2 Timothy 3:15. It’s the Greek word “brephos.” Its precise definition in Strong’s Concordance is “an infant (properly, an unborn infant).” The same word is used in Luke 1:44 when Mary visits her cousin Elizabeth and the unborn “babe” (John the Baptist) leaped for joy when he heard the voice of the Saviour’s mother.
Paul says to Timothy, “And that from a child [while you were still in the womb] thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” Lois and Eunice the grandmother and mother of Timothy faithfully read to Timothy the Word of God before he was even born – while he was still in the womb – and Paul states that this was instrumental in Timothy coming to faith in Christ.
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There is no greater joy or blessing for Christian parents than to lead their children to personal faith in Jesus Christ. Never take the salvation of your children for granted. Just because they have attended church all their lives is no guarantee that they have ever accepted Jesus Christ as their own personal Saviour. Pray for your children and your grandchildren. Pray that those children will come to know Christ as Saviour at an early age.
D.L. Moody was once asked how many people were converted at a meeting where he was the preacher. “Three and one half,” he replied. “What? Three adults and one child?” asked the man. “No. Three children and one adult,” said Moody. “The adults have already wasted half their lives but those children have practically all their lives to live for God.”
Many parents are quick to cast the blame for their children’s disinterest in spiritual things upon the church or youth group; but we need to remember that leading your children to Christ is not first and foremost the responsibility of the church or the Sunday school, but the responsibility of the home.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
God Loves Humility
“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6)
God loves humility. He hates pride – but He loves humility. This is the starting point for rebuilding broken relationships in your family.
One of Satan’s most effective ways to destroy or weaken your effectiveness as a parent is to erect barriers between you and your children. Some of the most difficult words we will ever have to say are, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
Most family conflicts could be resolved and even avoided right here! If you have wronged a member of your family, humble yourself and ask their forgiveness.
James 4:6 says, “God resisteth the proud…” If God is for you, it doesn’t make any difference who is against you; but if God is resisting you, it doesn’t make any difference who is for you. And when does God resist us the most? When we’re proud!
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But James goes on to say that God “giveth grace unto the humble.” Grace is the desire and the power that God gives us to do His will (Philippians 2:13). The way then to deal with pride and to get more grace (more desire and more enabling power to do what is right) is to humble ourselves by taking responsibility for our wrong actions and words and attitudes.
Some of the most successful marriages and families are those that follow through and ask each other forgiveness several times each week. There is no such thing as the perfect family. We all make mistakes. But God wants us to develop the Christ-like quality of humility. He wants us to humble ourselves; and through that demonstration of humility, He will bind and knit our hearts together.
Don’t wait for the other person to make it right. Take the initiative by taking responsibility, and help restore that broken relationship today.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
What A Person Is Really Like
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8).
If you want to find out what an animal is really like, where do you go? You don’t go to the zoo or the circus – because that’s where they’re on display; that’s where they perform. If you want to find out what an animal is really like, you need to observe it in its natural habitat.
If you want to find out what a Christian is really like, where do you go? Don’t go to the church – because that’s where we’re on display; that’s where we perform. If you want to find out what a Christian is really like, you need to observe him in his natural habitat – his home. If you want to find out the sincerity of a man’s commitment to Jesus Christ and to following Biblical principles, you don’t ask his pastor or church leaders, you need to ask his wife and his children.
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If our Christianity is going to be effective in reaching a lost world for Jesus Christ, then it must first prove itself in the Christian home.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
The Next Step
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service.” (Romans 12:1)
Right at this point, Paul separates Christians into two distinct categories: There are those who have dedicated their lives totally to God, and there are those who haven’t.
Scripture makes it very clear that God does not group all Christians together in one large bunch; but there are different categories of Christians in Scripture that the Lord is very careful to distinguish.
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What are you doing with your life that is going to make a difference in eternity? When you stand before the judgment seat of Christ, what will you be able to look back on and say this is what, by God’s grace, I’ve accomplished for the kingdom of God?
Morris Hull
See The Potential of Godly Children
The visiting preacher at a small village church I attended in Cambridgeshire, England, shared about his calling into the ministry. As a young woman, his mother had been deeply impressed and challenged by the martyrdom of the five young American missionaries in South America in January 1956, including Jim Elliott and Nate Saint. As a result, she dedicated her own life to missions; and after she was married, she prayed and asked the Lord to bless her with five sons to replace the five young missionaries who had been killed.
The young man I heard preach that Sunday evening was the youngest of five boys that the Lord blessed that woman with and each one of those young men was serving the Lord in full-time Christian ministry.
So many Christian parents miss the potential of training their sons and daughters to make an impact upon eternity. The Bible calls children arrows (Psalm 127:4). Our job as parents is to straighten the shaft, to sharpen the point and to trim the feathers so that when we shoot them into the world they hit the target and make an impact in this world for Jesus Christ.
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Think of the children that God has blessed you with. Think of their potential and the difference their lives could make if you were to take the time and energy to invest spiritually and emotionally in their young lives.
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
Webster’s Greatest Thought
Someone once asked Daniel Webster, “What is the greatest thought that you have ever had?” He said, “The most awesome, the most terrifying, the most shattering thought I’ve ever had, is my personal responsibility to God.”
The Bible makes it clear that we are each responsible for five things. Each one of us as Christians will be held responsible for every thought (2 Cor 10:4-5), word (Mat 12:36), deed (2 Cor 5:10), attitude (Phl 2:5), and motive (Jer 17:9-10).
In our culture of blame and civil law suits, people refuse to accept responsibility for anything. I heard one pastor say, “I could be a great pastor if it wasn’t for my congregation.” I suppose we could also say, “I could be a great father if it wasn’t for my kids” or “I could be a great husband if it wasn’t for my wife.”
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But if there is ever going to be any hope of restoring broken relationships, we need to take full responsibility for our own wrong actions and words and attitudes. As long as we are focusing on the offenses of others, our conflicts will never get resolved.
Don’t wait for the other person to make it right – it may never happen. He may be 95% to blame and you may only be 5% responsible; but take responsibility for your 5% and fully forgive his 95%.
“I Wish I Had Given Him More”
The story is told of a prince who disguised himself in the clothes of a beggar. As he was walking through the streets of the city, he came across another beggar who had just been given a large loaf of bread. The prince pleaded with the beggar for some of the bread. The beggar at first refused, but then rather grudgingly gave the prince three small pieces of bread.
The next day when the prince returned to his palace, he sent his servant to the place where the beggar sat, with a gift of three gold coins and a note that read: “One piece of gold for each piece of bread.” As the servant explained what had happened the previous day and read him the note from the prince, the beggar said, “Oh, I wish I’d given him more.”
That will be the cry of many Christians as we stand before the Judgement Seat of Christ. Not, “Look at all the great things I have done.” Not, “Look at how much I’ve given to the church and missions.” But we will be confronted with the reality of the time wasted, the money misspent and the opportunities missed to share the Gospel with others.
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“And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming” (1 John 2:28).
Morris Hull, Home Life Ministries
George Washington’s “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation”
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Character Gets Noticed
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-Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
Book-Keepers All
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The Impact of Negative Words
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“Here’s My Hand”
F. B. Meyer told of a revival meeting that was dragging along without signs of success until one evening an elder arose and said, “Pastor, I don’t believe there is going to be a revival as long as Brother Jones and I don’t speak to each other.” He went to Jones and said: “Brother Jones, we have not spoken for five years, let’s bury the hatchet. Here’s my hand.” A sob broke from the audience. Overview on Impotence Impotence or erectile dysfunction is tadalafil for sale a kind of disorder in some men. These medicines work as the branded generico levitra on line works. However, it is advised viagra shop usa deeprootsmag.org that you should only purchase prescription Kamagra as there are lots of substitutes for Kamagra which can cause side effects and complications. Since the problem is private it can get embarrassing to discuss it openly even with the healthcare provider’s supervision. discount levitra no rx Soon another elder arose and said: “Pastor, I’ve been saying mean things about you behind your back and nice things to your face. I want you to forgive me.” Many arose and confessed their wrongs and God began to visit them. A revival swept over the community for three years.
-Encyclopedia of 7,700 Illustrations