Several people have asked if there were some key steps they could follow to conquer a spirit of anger.
1 -Recognize the problem and its seriousness.
It’s time we recognized anger for the devastating curse it is. Denial destroys hope for help. I have dealt with people who honestly don’t want to admit they have a problem in this area.
I talked to a father and mother with a rebellious 16 year old daughter. After a few minutes on the telephone I asked, “Sir, do you have a problem with anger?”
He quickly replied, “No, I don’t.”
His wife meekly said, “Well, maybe just a little problem.”
He snapped back at her “No, I don’t.”
I said, “Sir, may I be very honest with you?”
“Sir, you have one of the biggest problems with anger of any man I have ever spoken to!”
“How can you say that when you’ve only been talking to me for a few minutes?”
“Sir, you don’t even know me. But you’ve rebuked your wife three times in my presence in less then ten minutes. Sir, you have a huge problem with anger!”
That father had already sent his daughter away to a girl’s home for over a year. She had come home changed. But in three months she had become a rebel again. He wanted to know if he should send her away a second time. I said, “Sir, the problem is not your daughter’s, it’s your’s. Don’t create a sense of rejection in your daughter by sending her away again. It would not be “just” to send her away when this is your problem.” I told another father with a similar problem who refused to take action that he was the one who needed to be sent away, not his daughter!
Ask your wife if you have a problem with anger. If she answers, “Well maybe just a little bit.” You probably have a huge problem. She’s probably too afraid of your anger to tell you.
Remember that there is no such thing as a “little” anger.
2 -Desire victory enough to cry out to God.
The truth is, there are many who have the problem, know they have the problem, but don’t really want victory. They enjoy the fear their anger creates in others. They also enjoy the carnal power that their anger gives them to control others.
3 -Repent of the sin.
Say to God, “I want to turn from this sin.”
4 -Confess the sins of forefathers and ask God in the Name and through the power of the blood of Jesus to break any curse coming down the generations.
In Neh. 1:6 Nehemiah prayed, “both I and my father’s house have sinned.”
5 -Ask God to take back the ground Satan has taken because of anger.
Remember that Eph. 4:26 says: “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the son go down upon your wrath.” The very next verse says, “Neither give place to the devil.”
Whenever some one or some thing causes you to become angry then Satan is able at that time to take ground in your life.
6 -See the connection between anger and lust in Matt. 5:21-32.
Remember that Jesus is dealing with the letter of the law and the spirit of the law in this passage. “He that is angry with his brother without a cause” is describing a spirit of anger.
When lust prevails, so does anger. Lust creates an insensitivity in the spirit that causes a person to be more likely to respond wrongly to God and to others.
Lust and anger are like twin sins. Wherever you see one, the other is probably also somewhere around.
7 -Watch for people and things that are going to come your way to make you angry.
The meaning of Ephesians 4:26 is that you are definitely going to have things coming your way that could possibly create anger you. God is saying, “Be aware of this and don’t sin and don’t give ground to Satan. Use the impulse to get angry as a signal to yield to God and to answer softly. “A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.” Pro 15:1
Few things have as much power to make you angry as anger in someone else.
8 -Purpose to enter the presence of family members and business associates with praise.
Psalm 100:4 gives the principle: “Enter into His presence with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise.”
You should come into the presence of those you admire and love and respect with praise.
The first words to each family member each day should be words of praise. Those words then “set the stage” for the rest of the relationships that day.
Praise is a motivator. Praise is a magnet that draws hearts to you. Praise is also a defense for you against wrong words and attitudes.
9 -Ask God daily to fill you with His Spirit and to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Every morning I ask God to “Produce in me the fruit of the Holy Spirit.” Then I pray to God that fruit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.” As I pray, I picture that fruit in my life. I picture my countenance and actions portraying that fruit. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is the opposite of the works of the flesh, and there’s something powerful about just praying about it and meditating on it.
10 -Make yourself fully accountable.
If you realize you’ve had a really serious problem in this area, then you may want to ask your mate daily at first whether she sensed any spirit of anger in you that day. Offer no defense, but only gratefulness for correction. Be humble to ask for and accept correction from your mate, your children, and perhaps others. A Pastor may want to set up some type of accountability with some key person he trusts in his church.
I’ve been preaching the message “How to Win the Heart of a Rebel” for several years now. I’ve seen many Fathers who know they have problems with rebellious sons or daughters, but few who are willing to do what they need to do to deal with the problem. Many men and women are coming to realize they have a problem with anger whether or not they have rebellious youth. I plead with you to deal with it. It is limiting your potential and damaging your children regardless of their ages. You would not allow an X rated movie to play in your home. You would not allow an idol to stay in your home. You would not allow a witch to stay in your home. You must not allow anger to stay in your home.
-from the message “Victory over the Spirit of Anger” by Dr. S.M. Davis